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xtra xtra read all 'bout it


yep that's my dad as a tyke tootin' his trumpet hear ye hear ye





Dear Mom and Dad,


It’s been so long since we last talked. I want to speak with you so badly. It’s been 26 years, mom, and for you dad, 24 years. Feeling speechless and mute, wishing you were here now,

I speak to you the only way I can, with the written word.


Where to start. All the times I play your music envisioning you here, also. Your favorite music is in me. Your songs that I grew up on. Your words, too, that rang so true as I grew. Yes, and even all your wisdom that you pounded into my thick skulled little pointed, as dad always said, stubbornly independent hard head. All that.


I write today not knowing where to turn, what to do, or where to


find solace


or answers.

I find myself harboring an undercurrent of uneasiness, which is not like me at all.


Here is the weight, the brunt of my vex : the values and morals, even how one conducts oneself, that I was taught by you are now, it appears to be, all done for. Disregarded. Ignored. The world now seems to be operating within a receding backwards contrary oppositional downhill reverse shift in how one behaves. And it is becoming more and more, everyday, and in everyway, a world that I cannot relate to, fathom, nor understand.

Lies, deceit, breaking laws, pulling apart words and putting them back together to serve you, using a whole string of words to sidestep the real word that is not being used to describe what is, concocting work-arounds the system, bullying, threatening others physically & verbally, bribery, dishonesty, destruction, degradation, denigration, defamation,


dis


-respect, denying, defiance, demeaning others, tantrums, making shit up, name-calling, manipulating, histrionics, humiliation, persecuting, yelling and screaming, ranting and raving. The list grows daily. I could go on and on and on and on as does all this behavior by grown adults. Grown adults in power. The qualities of behavior the general public supports besides mimics and worships in their leaders is idiocy. The scope of these regressive ways of behaving and conducting oneself multiples exponentially and explosively every minute and every second of every day. No longer a trend, now standard faire.

This is for real. A new unprecedented precedent. It scares me.


Me myself I am afraid. Am I merely being numbed and doing exactly what is hopefully expected of the now how it seems we will all become voiceless soon-to-be a have no vote-less public. Is this the beginning of the end of our republic.


I turn to you for guidance. I have never doubted the values and morals you have instilled in me. Nor your intelligence and


insistence



about teaching me right from wrong. That is the strength of the upbringing you provided me.




I have always solidly known who I am. I have forever never been afraid to take risks. I have followed my gut. My personal


radar


always giving me strong loud intuitive signals that I learned to listen to. I have lived by your words to thine own self be true. Living life by treating others how you wish to be treated. Made some pretty great decisions, along with some major


flops.


Most importantly, and later as an adult, I added one more important


credo


to live by : the law of karma. What goes around comes around. I have gotten far with these tenets. I know you would be proud of your very own


pointy headed offspring,


in who she has grown to become. I wish upon a star I could have been able to share with you the house I built and the man I married. Gosh darn it dad, as two musicians, you both could have made so much music together. I envision you, mom and dad, here now, nodding your heads up & down looking at me with your sparkly happy blink blink eyes, saying, yes you did good kid.


my dad, the trumpet player

Yet Yet Yet. Now Now Now. Why Why Why. WHY IS everything that once was a widely established commonly accepted belief system of ethics world-widely followed forever,

now suddenly, turned upside down reversed the polar opposite now flipping freaking backwards in time and so freaky what is freaking going on. It freaks me out. I am beyond being freaked-out shocked.


The world is now not at all what it was when you both were around. You both survived

The Depression and World War II which gave you a different edge and perspective on things besides a strong sense of sacrifice and


admiration


for our country.




The state of the planet’s goodwill fellowship factor had been heading in such a strong positive we the people one world all are created equal direction. Yet Yet Yet now our freedoms are slowly being removed. If you were here today and you be seeing what I am seeing you would hi-tail & go bye-bye right outta here in disbelief wondering what in the fire and brimstone happened. You would not believe your ears. Or your eyes. Or believe how the clocks are turning back in time to behaviors of pre-prehistoric non-ERA eras. Inhumanity proliferates. Barbaric behaviors propagate. And the deep fake art of the hoax is becoming a new unreality reality now. The days when a


non-theatrical


person just plain read the news, the facts, without any commentary or drama are over. The days when the most outlandish news reports were gossip columns about the private lives of movie stars in the National Enquirer. The now-telling of the news has been replaced with slanted show biz gotta-agenda attention-getting ego-maniacs, likes/dislikes, thumbs up/thumbs down, and performance. And most of what I hear I wonder, is this even newsworthy ? I question it all.

Who do you believe.


What to do. I witness disturbing distressing behaviors that only spell the end of common decency.


To see people disregard that which was once highly


revered


by all : Our courts Our laws Our Capital Our Bible Our rights as people Our voting system Our judicial system Our executive branch Our Constitution Our Bill of Rights Our legislative branch Our stars and stripes.

And


Our


Humanity.


A sole person turns trials into a trial about the trial itself. Distraction maximum so that a trial has nothing to do with the person on  trial. Attentions solely turned to the other members of the courtroom, and their families and the people outside the courtroom.

Pay no attention to the man behind the closed eyelids. State, federal, and Supreme Court judges now disrespected. Systems, orders, ways of doing things, getting things done : now chaos. Delays distractions diversions sidetracks paybacks threats and scare tactics. Where does it end. That is what I am afraid of. Where this will all end.


I turn to you for advice, mom and dad, my source of stability, sensibility, morals, values. Nothing makes sense in the outside world anymore. I fear for the worse the deeper this new way of how one treats their fellow man proliferates penetrates permeates pollutes like a plague seeps creeps sweeps weaps bleeds and slowly methodically disintegrates the tried and the


true.


What would you do I wonder. I await for insight. I wait by writing, recalling how the pen is mightier than the sword. And so is art. Where will these words, these thoughts go.

To radiant reflections of you both : Dad marching down the street in a parade playing the trumpet. Knowing he was in the Army once doing the same. Only in the parade when he passed by me in the sidelines cheering hi dad waving both arms did I get that anticipated timeless wink from him. Mom and me listening to the 8,000 pipes pipe organ booming out a Bach organ fugue. The seats underneath us rumbled and shook us to our marrows as if to say This This This !! Is What It Is All About !! so hold on as we Learned about


Dignity


and Worth. Christmas Eve the handbells chimed the candlelights glow twinkled sparkly like magic. We walked as a family to this service at midnight as the giant flakes falling snow drifted slowly down in hushed Silent Night slow motion each snowflake trying its darnedest to defy gravity as best they could. I was there. I was actually inside that dreamscape.


Trying my Best : to Withstand, Understand, Overcome, and Persevere,


Love, your daughter ,

Kristine Lori.


Ps.  A remembrance !! : a hint of a trace of a clue

from mom and dad :


Dispersing dad’s ashes accompanied by “Stars & Stripes Forever” his most popular and requested “number” played at the free summer park band concerts that he organized and directed every week during summer. I would love to hear the piercing piccolo solo once more pretty please.


Thixton Springer, tenor singer & master of ceremonies in the white coat. My dad the conductor in the black coat with his back turned to us. Concerts played all summer long on Thursday nights at Garfield Park, Grand Rapids, MI.



Mom’s ashes floated all away to “All The Way” as Frank Sinatra sang. I grew up listening to mom sing this song as the hi-fi spun. Your favorite, mom.





This is what they loved.


The tried and the true.


All the way stars and stripes forever all the way.



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