I Want To Fall in Love With the Whole Wide World Again.

I Want To Fall in Love

With the Whole Wide World

Again.

Making Sense of All These Strange Shifts ….

Say Whhhat ? ??

Really ? ??

Prevalent random unpredictability currently Rules.

The unanticipated the unforeseen the unbeknownst

unfolds before me,

Re-Repeatedly a Re-Reoccurring theme.

Life has taken on this continual-uneasy me-questioning :

What ?

As I wonder, see, & experience this constant switch

of modes of operandi from what I knew, to now :

What I do not know. as the new huh ? normal.

I want to fall in love with the world again.

 Yet the world seems to be in so much flux

it is hard to grab ahold of, understand, exist

& maintain any sort solid footing of Reality.

       Because of the abundant amounts of unpredictability.

I somewhat am finding myself yearning for a Re-Reality.

a Re-Play. Re-Runs. A Re-turn. A Re-peat. A Reckoning.

To a place long ago from somewhere in the past.

What I knew is no longer practiced.

What I expect is no longer available.

What was once, is no longer.

Yet, what actually happens now ?

is : a surprise.

What I have now come to practice is anticipating the unexpected.

What I know for a fact now that will unfold

is the unknown.

& what was once will never ever be no longer.

The world operates in a fast lane constant pace of the non-stop

high speed unbeknownst now.

Uncertainty rules on all levels of existence.

Strange shifts of reality abound.

So much so that values, morals, morality, ideas about modus operandi, customs, laws, traditions, practices, conventions, manners & more, are no longer applicable now. Pfft. Gone.

What we knew how to do

is not the way it is now anymore.

I have begun to stop questioning &

 have begun accepting this all pervasive fact of life.

Because if I do not, the strange shifts the odd switch the present

day coo-coo will swallow one hole & one whole.

What I once knew & experienced :

connections with close ties seems to be shifted. Reaching out to various members of my tribe transpires towards strangely enough : a more of a distancing. I walk away feeling flat. The closer ties interactions sometimes making no sense. Interactions that leave me feeling surprisingly the complete opposite of what it was I was seeking in my reaching out.

Yet, on the other hand, I am witnessing quite oddly enough, many times  short lived sporadic connections that turn out to be strongly harmonious upon meeting random strangers. The reason ? might be ? unexpected expectations. Off guard. I am guessing.

This is all new territory. The beauty of the surprise. What ? Really ?

What I once knew & experienced :

an enormous wide open vacuum gap shift with what I once knew what a truly great leader is. So gone. Not only the complete opposite in traits but more like off the charts unheard of. Their characters, personality, actions, speech, manners, protocol, presence, demeanor, attitude, egocentricity, focus, what is of prime importance, how they treat others, all this & more. No longer do I even know what a leader is anymore. What was once a given, a known reality, a truth when it comes to defining who a leader is, I do not have the capacity in my thinking to cross these current lines now or make any connection to what is now & what I once knew. The lines are so crossed over they are de-demarcated, erased, extinguished, pfft. Gone.

What I once knew & experienced :

when it comes to my outlook towards looking out into the world.

I find a huge shift in the range & scope of what I allow in. I was one who sought out the new. Preferences now foreshortened. More internally content with home rather than in the reaching out into the world to search out seek out the unexperienced the novel the far out there. Concentrated stretches of time in just being in my skin at peace here home. Pursuing what it is I dearly love to create to make to learn to read to be. Without any residual feelings of being selfish, merely now pure relaxation. Merely now surrender merely just being.

What I once knew & experienced :

felt more like reactive to my outside experience. Now what has been replaced with reactive is a new outlook called : choice. This encompasses nutritional food choices ( we're talkin' baby bok choy dipped in soy rice vinegar hot sauce, beet greens sauted that are like so buttery, & beets beets beats ! ) taking a nap choice, how to spend time choices, less routines consuming my days, more interactions with my world on a casual choice by choice connection, less automaton, more pause, more practicing the practice of making a conscious choice which affects my every moment of every single day. What to say how to speak how to respond how not to respond. Checking in with myself to see where I am for all those moments & responding to my world by choice.

What I know & experience :

Reason Being : Who I am. This I always have known & always will be. This has never changed. And this is the key to maintaining a steady course throughout all the turmoil of dealing with this whole wide whorly gig whorld of strange shifts & odd switch.

My reason for reason :

My very own personal story, as a 10 yr old child, coming home from the 2nd night of catechism classes, I announced to my mom & dad  : “Mom & dad, we have to talk. They are trying to tell me what god looks like.” Dad turns to mom & says, “What do we do now?”

& mom turns directly to me with no discussion between them & says :

“ You do not have to go back to catechism class.”

That is the beauty of knowing who you are.

That is the beauty of being listened to.

That is the beauty of having strength to stand in one’s shoes

& stand in one’s truth & truly know who you are.

That is where I draw strength now during these times of so much uncertainty.

I know who I am. I own unshakable values.

I hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal.

I hold these truths to be self-evident that we as a people will come together &

stand strong on our shared common ground. Because we all know who we are &

have not forgotten all that we have accomplished as a People. We will stay on course because of this. Even amidst all the turmoil & all the odd shifts & the oppositional strange switch.

I can look at all this that is not a part of who I am & subtract it from my being because it is not who I am. I know who I am. & I know a whole lotta you out there are the same as me. The matter of the fact of staying strong in your truths is what is going to make it.

And always has.

Yes I really want to fall in love with the entire whole wide big grand beautiful world again. It feels somewhat impossible now because of the strange oddities & shifts.

Yet, I realize that I know I will eventually fall in love with the world again

because of the true beauty of balance. The no expectations of wide eyed wonder

at the unexpected ground you stand upon : tectonic plates shift. Shift happens.

I am really getting ready to fall in love with the whole wide world again.